A love story
A memorable experience again and again.
Recently I was dispatched out to a death of an older woman and when I arrived the officer told me the husband was distraught which he was. Some people want to talk and others don't and that is fine and I tell them that.
I knelt down next to his chair and introduced myself and he had been doing allot of crying which was totally fine although I asked him if he would tell me about his wife and I told him I would love to hear about his her and what she was like.
It was not long after he started talking that I found out he had short term memory loss but a very good long term memory because in the next two hours he told several beautiful stories about his dear wife, how they fell in love, all about the places they traveled, his time in the military and how they both loved to play tennis. He told me over and over what wonderful children and grandchildren he had.
He would finish a story and start another one of the stories he had already told again. It was sad but ever so touching and tender to hear how much he loved her.
When he told me how much they loved tennis and how they would go to the Canyon Racket club I asked if he knew Reed Gordon and he said absolutely and told him that Reed "Bud" was my uncle and that formed another connection. We had both been in the Army and he told me about the pictures in his home and about the business ventures he had been involved in.
I talked to the children who were my age and reminded them to help him eat and stay hydrated and he would chime in saying he was a health nut and how he was very careful about his drinking water and eating enough. I also suggested to him and to them that they try to encourage him to take deep breaths especially during this time.
After this the officer came back in the room and the dear husband told the officer all about his time in the military with his wife and how they traveled their entire time in the military. The officer had recently been in the military and stayed in the same housing that this man and his wife had been in back in 1958. Those housing units are still the same ones.
He told us how once in the barracks in Germany how 2 men from the south were saying "Nigger this and Nigger that" and he got very upset and he said "God Dammit guys can you just stop that shit?" and those soldiers never used the "n" word in front of him again. He said while he was in the military he was with all sorts of different types of people and he felt that was part of what makes The United States of America great. He thanked the officer and I for our service and then began another story.
When the funeral home came to get his dear wife we assured him that they would take good care of her. He was worried about the arrangements and we told him that his children would help with all of that and he did not have to worry about it. We leave a packet of information with what steps can be taken to get the death certificate, contact social security and several other things. Right after someone dies is not a good time to go over this packet so I find someone in the family that seems to be a take charge type of person and I tell them about it and tell them that when they are ready they can go through the information with family.
I have been dispatched out to many different death calls and each one of them in unique in their own way and I have had the privilege to interact with so many people and some of them tell me that I am not needed and send me on my way which is fine but for the most part I have been able to either consul them a bit or ask them about the person that died and I has opened up a rich treasure chest of good memories.
I encourage them to write those beautiful stories down or record them because those stories are so important to keep and pass on to family and friends.
Having the opportunity to serve as a Chaplain has blessed my life in many ways. I am learning to be a better listener and I appreciate life very much and I appreciate each moment I have with my dear wife and my children.