Apathy Religion Family and Life

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Childhoods are often filled with memories of our closet friends, neighbors,family,baptisms,school,music, major events like vacations or activities such as going to the zoo or movies. Much of my childhood is missing for obvious reasons although I don't hold any hate or resentment because of this but there is a bit of sadness for what could have been. My wife always says "Hubiera no existe" meaning what could have been does not exist because what happened happened and what is, is.

As we move through life we get involved with projects,education and activities and as we do we make those aspects of our life a priority and often expect others to do the same. Sometimes people become unbalanced and immerse themselves into things forgetting those around them. Two classic examples of this can be found in many families. I remember a family member that constantly read his Bible and granted the Bible is very important and we all can learn many great lessons from it although he would ignore his family and shut himself away reading God's word. Eventually they got divorced and the family became divided. Another example is a friend of mine that would focus so much on his sports programs that he did not even notice when friends entered the room or his house. I would say hello and he would sometimes nod and other times not even look up. I suppose you could categorize these as addictions although they don't seem like dangerous addictions.

Many people go through stages where we place great importance and time commitments to activities in our lives such as religion, sports, hunting, reading, music while other portions of our lives spin out of control. I know when I was young I would spend hours escaping to my karate studio to practice while I was ignoring other parts of life. Sometimes you need to say "no" to activities. I love to sing and I am in a new quartet and I have decided to make time for this activity which means other things will have to wait. In the past and even now I have been involved in scouting and although it is not my forte I still try to make time for it whether it is to just spend some time helping. I do appreciate the scout leaders that really throw themselves into that service. Other people tend to escape by sleeping too much or watching soap operas or any given number of activities. Looking for talents in life is a fun and interesting adventure. For a while I tried to learn to paint and my daughter and I played with it and had fun although I learned that is not my strong point. I do consider myself an artist although not that type of artist.

Apathy on the other hand can come because people get tired or too busy and don't want to add yet another thing to their lives. Apathy to some people may not be exactly that to others. As you watch the news you can only do so much and knowing about all the sadness and suffering in the world can contribute to depression. So being the person at church that is always in the service of others can mean that he or she is a wonderful person or possibly that he or she is really co-dependent and has issues that need to be dealt with. I do believe we can hide behind God, Religion and Church and use them as an excuse to hide or ignore other more important matters.

Being able to drop these words onto a page actually does relieve stress, I don't claim to be a great writer, nor to be able to solve worldwide problem such as hunger or suffering although as you get older you tend to ponder more and worry less about looks and appearance. When our family was worried we would be separated by immigration issues those things became the most important issues in our lives. When you are in a realm such as that you notice different people, you notice different aspects of life. When you have it all together you worry about what time the movie might start Saturday night but you don't worry about things like deportation. A good friend of mine fell off a ladder recently and all of his priorities changed when he was put in the hospital. I have one friend in Guatemala that will sacrifice quite a bit taking several busses to get to Church since her Church is quite far from her home. She goes at least twice a week. I have another friend here in the US that was getting a ride to Church and when her friend's car broke down she stopped going. She could have taken the buss but she uses the broken car as a reason for no going. Each time someone tries to offer a suggestion to her she overcomes it with excuses. It comes down to the fact that she really does not want to go to Church and rather than admit that publicly it is easier to come up with excuses. Being honest is hard even when we try to be honest with ourselves it is hard. Many people say things like "I don't care what people think" but overwhelmingly most people do care what others think and most people spend hours thinking about what others think about them. I understand that people don't sit around and think about me because they have many other more important things to be worried about.

So do I have some words of wisdom to wrap this long winded speech up? Not really, just a few words: The most important things in life are not things. When my mother fell down and eventually got moved into a home that was not hers the things left in the house were just that "Things" Nothing of real importance. Sure my sister wants the china cabinet and I took some of the food storage but when it came down to it the most important part of that home are the memories and the essence that my mother took with her and that still lives inside her. With her independence being taken away or better put compromised she lost much of her passion for painting, cooking and even reading although she still does read. She only took a few of her books and I look at my own home and this really hits me where it counts. I have boxes of books in my house and why? I can find most anything on the Internet so why do I hold onto these books? I need to spring clean early. Have a great day tomorrow. Work will win when wishy washy wishing won't. You can't change others you can only change yourself.